Rural Australian Computer Terms from Chris Cleirigh

* Log on -      Make the barbie hotter
* Log off -     Don't add any more wood
* Monitor - Keep an-eye on that barbie
* Download -    Getting the firewood off the ute
* Floppy disc - What you get from trying to carry too much firewood
* Window -      What to shut when it's cold outside
* Screen - What to shut in the mosquito season
* Byte -        What the mosquitos do
* Bit - What the mosquitos did
* Mega Byte -   What the Townsville mosquitos do
* Chip -        A bar snack
* Micro Chip - What's left in the bag after you eat the chips
* Modem - What you did to the hay field
* Dot Matrix - Old Dan Matrix's wife
* Laptop - Where the cat sleeps
* Software - The plastic knives and forks they give you at the Red Rooster
* Hardware -    The real stainless steel cutlery
* Mouse -       What eats the grain in the shed
* Mainframe -   What holds the shed up
* Web - What a spider makes
* Web site - The shed or under the verandah
* Cursor -      Someone who swears
* Search Engine -       What you do when the ute won't go
* Upgrade -     Steep hill
* Server -      The person at the hotel who brings the counter lunch
* Mail Server - The bloke at the hotel who brings the counter lunch
* Sound Card -  The one that wins the hand of 500
* User -        The neighbour who keeps borrowing stuff
* Network -     When you have to repair your fishing net
* Internet - Complicated fish net repair method
* Netscape -    When a fish maneuvers out of reach
* Online -      When you get the laundry hung out on the washing line
* Off line - When the clothes pegs let go and the washing falls on the ground

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Last edited: 05/22/02