Label Instructions on Consumer Goods from Chris Cleirigh
| *On Sears hair dryer: | |
| Do not use while sleeping. | |
| * On a bag of Fritos: | |
| You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. | |
| * On a bar of Dial soap: | |
| Directions: Use like regular soap. | |
| * Some Swann frozen dinners: | |
| Serving suggestion: Defrost. | |
| * On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box: | |
| Fits one head. | |
| * On Tesco's Tiramisu desert: | |
| Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.) | |
| * On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: | |
| Product will be hot after heating. | |
| * On packaging for a Rowenta Iron: | |
| Do not iron clothes on body. | |
| * On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: | |
| Do not drive car or operate machinery. | |
| * On Nytol (a sleep aid): | |
| Warning: May cause drowsiness. | |
| * On a Korean kitchen knife: | |
| Warning keep out of children. | |
| * On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: | |
| For indoor or outdoor use only. | |
| * On a Japanese food processor: | |
| Not to be used for the other use. | |
| * On Sainsbury's Peanuts: | |
| Warning: contains nuts. | |
| * On an American Airlines packet of nuts: | |
| Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. | |
| * On a Swedish chainsaw: | |
| Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. | |
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The reasonable man adapts himself to the rest of the world. The
unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to
himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
- G. B. Shaw