Top Ten Words by Alain Brix-Nielsen

TOP TEN STRANGE WORDS THAT DON'T EXIST IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE BUT SHOULD

• AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
• CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
• DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow remove all the germs.
• ELBONICS (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.
• FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.
• LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the 'illegal' side.
• PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.
• PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
• PUPKUS (pup' kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.
• TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring as least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.

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Last edited: 05/22/02